I'd racked my brain for months trying to figure out something that I could do, taking her out was not an option, a priest had suggested it and she had tried it with no success, but I knew there had to be something. Then something my father had said before he had fallen ill came back to me, he'd laughingly told me that no matter how low mum was feeling a good seeing to always cheered her up. I grinned as I had the thought, sex had not been a taboo subject, hell I'd already lost my virginity to the mother of a friend of mine, but how the hell was I supposed to find a man for my mother? About the only thing she had shown any interest in since dad's death had been me and that had been in a sad, distracted way, but I couldn't do the deed.I'd been going around in circles for about half an hour trying to figure out how to get my mother laid, time and again I kept coming back to the fact that she was only interested in me and time and again I rejected this. Then I discovered that I was. I had the misfortune to catch her in just such a position with my dearest intended Sir Henry and watched her swallow every last drop off my future spouse's emissions with only a trace of white on one corner of her ruby-red lips.In order to forestall any unseemly confrontation, I pretended to reenter the room with a clatter that must have sent them both scurrying to repair their attire. I swear I have never sighted two more innocent of personages totally oblivious to each other in close assembly.As amusing as the scene must seem to most of you, I must confess I was quite put out with my intended, with the deliciously pretty librarian, and even with my own sister Cornelia whom I suspected arranged the little tableau specifically for my benefit.I know that Winifred has probably told you that I have been concerned with the appearance of my posterior and that I have often tasked her with "hands on" inspections to make sure I am viewed in the best way possible. All I can say is the poor.
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